


a simple question.

by smallbump



Category: Video Blogging RPF, tronnor - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4277235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallbump/pseuds/smallbump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's 3am and troye is having a lot of feelings. and he needs to know if connor is having the same feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a simple question.

It’s 3am, the moon is up and it’s a star-lit sky outside of Troye’s half-open window, a light breeze is making his bedroom stay with the right temperature. Not too cold, not too warm. The grey bed sheets and duvet, the pillows pilled up behind him all make into a comfortable little fort of softness that he has surrounded himself in and he couldn’t feel more content at the moment, with music streaming from his laptop standing on his beside table with low volume.  
The only light being the tiny light-strand lying on his bedframe. He yawns, eyes are shut tight and arms stretched out, he grips his phone at the same time before settling in to his previous position again.

Crossed-legged in bed, Troye is tapping away yet another message on his phone. And another one, and one more and as he does, his mind wanders off…

It’s been a few days now and he’s not missing as much as he did the hours after he left Connor but still missing. It’s incredible how fast he got used to Connor being around him every single hour of every single day for just a few weeks, and it’s even more incredible how soon he settled into not having Connor around him all the time. Or at least that’s what he is telling himself.   
Troye is doing fine (well) without him, he’s keeping busy but it’s at times like these (times when he shouldn’t be awake because at 3am feelings are somehow ten thousand times stronger, whatever they may be) that he can’t help but to feel like he didn’t get enough memories of everything to last the time they’re about to spend apart.

Troye doesn’t have enough of Connor laughing loudly on his couch, squinting eyes and one hand on his stomach, making it almost echo through his house because everything is so, so quiet. Troye doesn’t have enough of Connor’s ramblings in the morning, about everything and nothing. What was he even talking about?

He doesn’t have enough of hugging Connor good morning or goodnight or even goodbye. It’s all a mixed blur in his mind, everything fades together and creates something he can kind of remember and not at all.   
His camera roll is filled with an endless amount of photos that are supposed to make him remember but right now, he barely can.   
Connor with a cup of coffee, Connor’s back as they took a morning walk, Connor making breakfast. Sure, but what did they talk about? How was the weather, what did Connor smell like, how did he look at Troye the second after these photos were taken?   
The video clips are so short he cannot think of the actual context of them.

And all of the sudden all he wants to do is text Connor that he misses him, text him a million times. But it’s too soon and it’s too much and it’s way too far.   
Because they haven’t been texting  _like that_  so he’s afraid of sending those words just in case it’s a step too far, even though that’s how he feels, however Connor might not.

Troye likes Connor. He likes him a lot, because he’s pretty and sweet and nice and fun and gives quite the greatest hugs. But also, how he makes Troye feel like every single word coming out of his mouth is the most important one, he’s always listening so attentively to everything Troye has to say, like he is genuinely interested. And how he makes Troye laugh continuously when he mostly want to cry, and how he laughs at all the bad jokes Troye, they have the same humour like that.  
Connor makes Troye feel like he’s the only important person in the room.

_(Although, maybe that’s how he makes everyone feel.)_

One would think for two people that talk about everything, it would include this but they haven’t – at all. He doesn’t know if it’s because there’s nothing there so there’s nothing to talk about. Or, there is and it’s too much to talk about.

And sure, it might be the 3am-feelings talking but the more he thinks about it, the more frustrated he gets that they haven’t. Troye’s a firm believer in always talking about everything; it’s his life motto or whatever.

His phone has been silent for a while now; Connor was out eating lunch when they began the conversation, or rather, continued it from a few hours before. Time zones are truly inconvenient right now, because while this might be a good time for Troye to discuss  _their feelings_ , it might not be a good time for Connor. Troye doesn’t care.

He’s staring at the latest text from Connor; ‘shouldn’t you be sleeping? big day tomorrow and everything’   
It was, it was a music related-big day, but not until the afternoon so it’s fine. Troye is not irresponsible like that. That’s his job, his life work. This is all just dumb crush on his new best friend. A dumb crush that is annoyingly very real.  
His reply – ‘I know, soon,’ – is left unanswered.

As he begins to type out another one, a new text from Connor appears on his screen.

From: Connor  
why are you up so late?

In his head, Troye is imagining Connor with his ‘are-you-alright’-face, the worrying look in his eyes, it makes him smile shyly.

To: Connor  
because i’m wondering.. DO YOU FUCKING LIKE ME OR NOT

It’s his 3am-feelings typing out these texts now, Troye’s sure of it. He’s thinking of throwing his phone to the wall because this was a stupid idea and he really  _should_ be sleeping anyways but there’s no time, Connor is replying fast suddenly.   
And maybe, somewhere in the back of his head, Troye knew the answer all along, he’s not nervous looking at Connor’s reply, he’s not scared or anxious.

From: Connor  
YES I FUCKING DO

He’s typing quickly…

To: Connor  
WELL I REALLY FUCKING LIKE YOU TOO

  
There it is. They talked about it, it’s all out. Troye is cursing to himself, because they’re thousands of miles apart, oceans and lands between them and it’s not going to change anytime soon and Troye doesn’t really know what he’s going to do with all these feelings in his chest, how he’s going to be able to keep them bundled up inside his mind until the time is right.

He gets a snapchat notification from Connor, a picture of him appears, he put the black and white-filter on and Troye thinks it’s to hide his blush, or hope it is anyway, but it’s really no use when Connor is covering his mouth, like that blushing monkey-emoji and Troye is grinning by now, blushing too.

He sends one back, one of him buried in duvet and pillows, and captions it with nothing but several purple hearts before putting away his phone and drifting off to sleep quite quickly after that. Troye really does sleep better when he’s been talking to Connor; he just wasn’t ready to confess it to himself before. Someday soon he’ll probably tell Connor too. 


End file.
